Back home!

I'm back home in LA and loving every minute of it! I'm finally moved into my new place, and its amazing. I'm so glad I made the decision to move into my own place. It was a somewhat big thing to do for me, since I've never lived on my own before. But I'm glad I did. And I am very glad that I had the realization I did, that I can live my life the way I want to, that I control my life and destiny. That doesn't, however, mean I have to be controlling over every aspect of my life. I tend to be rather uptight and anal-retentive about things. Things have to be a certain way all the time. I do things the same way every time, or I get anxious. And I still do sometimes, but realizing that things do not have to be like that--that I can the master of my own life without having to be controlling to the point of obsession--has left me feeling a lot freer than I ever have before.

I am already trying to be more spontaneous and live my life to the fullest. Before, new ideas that I had would often get filed away in a list in my brain entitled "would be nice to do someday." Now I think, "why not now? what's stopping me?" So in that vein, I decided to go to San Francisco for a few days with my boyfriend next week. We've been talking about doing it for awhile and love to travel. And now, we both have time. So I said, why not? let's just go for a little bit. It may seem like a small thing, but this was a big step for me-- merely asking myself "why not?" Because the answer was that nothing was holding me back but myself. I want to use this idea in all parts of my life. Most of the time, there is nothing holding me back from doing things but myself, and I don't want to spend any more of my time on the sidelines because I'm too afraid to take the plunge into something new. That's the fun in life, and instead of letting the prospect of the unknown hold me back, I intend to let it propel me into new and better things.